Anybody in South Florida who has a garage knows what this is about. A garage? Just a place for parking your car? Maybe. It’s definitely not a cellar. Cellars in South Florida fill up with water. It would be like having an indoor swimming pool, albeit a dirty, disgusting one.
It’s been a week since Mother’s Day and I think I’m finally over it. I felt like a total failure on Mother’s Day. I read all those blogs and newspaper articles about what wonderful, endearing things good mothers do for their children. Things I never did.
There are at least 10 things I will not think about in my last 10 seconds of life. I usually don’t have enough time for that kind of nonsense, and hopefully I will continue to exist for more than 10 seconds after I write this. But because I like lists, here are the big 10.
I woke up feeling morbid today. Like I had one foot in the grave. All because I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. I had fallen asleep watching Channel Nada, Worthless TV. When I woke up, my addled brain began chasing lethargic butterflies of insomnia…
I woke up today hearing voices – one of them said, “Clean the garage.” The others said, “ Go back to sleep.” So I rolled over and went back to sleep and had another bad dream, this one about cleaning out the refrigerator.
I dread the holidays. All that cooking. Not that I actually do it. I can’t remember the last time I dressed or stuffed a turkey. That’s Howard’s job now. But if I did, I have a few special ideas I’d like to try. Like Popcorn Stuffing. I found a recipe somewhere for “Popcorn Stuffing”. Now that sounded really interesting. Innovative.
We all have them, irrational fears. Fears of things we shouldn’t be scared of, things we would not give a hoot about. If only we just didn’t think about them. Here are a few of my own, and maybe a few of some people you know….
Most South Floridians have accents that originated from the Northeast. They do not and probably never will “speak southern”. But, since understanding each other is part of daily civility, here are a few more southern words with definitions and uses…
Now don’t get me wrong, we are both equal in this house, but I have this husband who has a set of rules that he thinks he can enforce. Not that he will consciously admit to these unspoken rules but here they are:
Vacuum cleaners. I hate housework, especially vacuuming the house. Not that I won’t do it, but before breakfast??? It was 6 o’clock this morning when Howard emerged from the bedroom. Instead of the usual sleepy trudge, he’s hauling ass to the utility closet and clutching his throat. At first I was impressed, I’ve never seen him so awake this early.