Florida cockroaches are real cockroaches. They are not teeny and puny like those little German immigrants. Just seeing one of those big suckers swimming in your coffee or having sex on your kitchen counter is enough to cause a major jump in most people’s blood pressure.
I like to fuss over my cat, Tom Brown. But Tom doesn’t always take too kindly to fussing and his tail will begin to twitch. It even twitches when I just look at him. He just lies there, pretending to sleep and looking away from me, but the tail is twitching.
Another Christmas gone by. I’m so relieved. Not that I’m a bah humbug person and not that I don’t have at least a few Christmas memories that I treasure, but there are a whole bunch of Christmases that I would just like to forget (and for some no good reason, I can’t.) I try to blame some of my unpleasant memories on the month of December.
I worry a lot. Especially late at night when I have insomnia. I worry about money, my job , gaining weight… In other words, anything that comes along. Lately, I’ve begun to worry about airports. Homeland security scares the heck out of me.
Halloween’s been long gone for almost a month. It was just another Halloween, a Halloween spent trick or treating with my sister-in-law’s kid. He dressed up as a pirate and me, I went as an aging adult.
It’s 3AM and I am ohhh so hungry! I can’t sleep when I feel like my stomach is licking the meat off my ribs. I stare at the ceiling and I think no more calories! But I’m beginning to see luminenscent petite fours on the ceiling.
If there was a virus for causing procrastination, I’d say we’ve all been infected. But I like to look at both sides of an issue, or in this case, a condition. I’ve never thought of putting off things as bad as long as I was the one doing it. Now if it’s anyone else, that’s another story.
Over crowding causes anger issues. I could do free castrations… with a butter knife. Hell, I’d even use two bricks for anesthesia. As if being on a crowded roadway isn’t bad enough, getting cut off in I-95 traffic really pisses me off. Not enough for road rage, just rabid confusion as to why anyone would drive so fast on a four lane road constipated with cars. Cars are all driving the same speed, side by side in each of the four lanes.
My husband, Howard, says Barmy Bottom isn’t really a hollow, it’s more like a slough. Hollows, he says, are Tennessee and this is Florida. Nonsense, I say. This house we live in and the yard around it are a big hole.
I hate stupidity. I could say that stupid people drive me nuts but I’m not nuts or crazy (yes, there is a difference). So I’ll just have to say, I have no tolerance for stupid people.