F-Words…There’s More Than One (Part 1) by Maggie Millus

My household is adrift in a sea of F-words. Not just the most infamous of them, but other F-words, like flustered, frazzled, and feculent. But not all F-words are denigrating, some of them are actually distinctive, even cool. Like fluorescent, flitter, fortune, fool-proof… Fool-proof is one of my favorites. I use that one a lot, especially when I want to finagle my husband, Howard, into doing something he doesn’t want to do.

My Doctor Said What? by Maggie Millus

I just got back from a visit to my doctor. All went well. We even managed to say the right things to each other.

Now I’m very wary of doctors, and I wonder…what if my doctor or surgeon had said the wrong things?So I’ve compiled a short list (I like my lists to be short) of things nobody wants to hear their doctor or surgeon say.

Things I Wonder About by Maggie Millus

It’s night, long past midnight but nowhere near time to get up. I can’t sleep. The best I can do is enter that semi-conscious dream world where random thoughts run across my mind like scurrying insects. I want to get a fly swatter and chase them around my subconscious. If I become more awake, the mental garbage in my head will float to the surface of my subconscious and my mind will choke on the rubbish of my past and present.

Fowl Play – a replay. (by Maggie Millus)

I hate stupidity. I could say that stupid people drive me nuts but I’m not nuts or crazy (yes, there is a difference). So I’ll just have to say, I have no tolerance for stupid people.

For example: The other day my principal got a phone call from an irate parent (to those of you who don’t know me, I teach science in a well-moneyed urban high school). The complaint: The student’s mother said I showed my students chicken porn. I replied to the charge, ”Dr. Smartz (not his real name), I showed absolutely no pictures of any chickens fornicating or much less masturbating.”

Men! by Maggie Millus

Men! I’ll never understand them. They want to live in nice places, houses, whatever…but they never want to do the upkeep. The house may be falling down around them but they always have a reason for not fixing things, not taking care of the yard, not cleaning out the car… You name it! Sometimes they don’t have a reason. But reason or not…whatever needs care is just not going to get it. Unless…

Mindless Meditation by Maggie Millus

My mind?? I know it’s here somewhere…

I just read an article on mindfulness meditation. The idea is to spend time to oneself focusing only on the moment and one single thing, like breathing. The author described how she spent five days in this state by not talking to anyone, including her family. It was an inner revival, an opportunity “to gain clarity, wisdom, and freedom…” by paying attention to “moment experiences.”

December Worries by Maggie Millus

It’s the holidays and we’re smack dab in the middle of them. As a matter of fact, I can smell holiday peppermint eggnog breath everywhere which tells me the holidays are really here and I’ve drunk too much eggnog. But where’s the tree? I didn’t set up a tree. Why not? It’s Christmas time, but I just don’t feel like celebrating. Why? Because I hate December.

Grits by Maggie Millus

I love grits. But grits are confusing to a lot of people. Especially northerners. I once tried to order grits with breakfast at a Boston restaurant and the waitress had no idea what I was talking about. Or maybe she just didn’t understand my South Florida accent. But then I don’t speak Boston either.

Not A Chance by Maggie Millus

Sometime I wonder about myself, how I can get myself into situations that are going to make me miserable. Like camping. Now I have nothing against camping but if there is a motel around and my car hasn’t broken down in the middle of a national forest, I’m going to go with the motel. One without bedbugs, please.