It’s more than a week since the end of the Erma Bombeck Writers Conference 2014. I came back to South Florida so elated. How else can you feel when you’ve been laughing for three consecutive days? Now I’m back. It’s over. There are no more laughs. I feel sad. And it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
I haven’t written for a week. Is it because the ideas, the creativity, just aren’t there? It would be nice if I could
squeeze ideas out of my head like tooth paste. I just can’t think of anything and when I do it’s at the most inopportune time. Like in the middle of the night, when I have insomnia.
Insomnia. Got it again. It must be tracking me. Like a demented bloodhound. This means I’m going to sit here tonight. Out in the living room and for who knows how long. Maybe I should just sit here and talk to myself, as in….Hello brain. I’m here again….Yep. I think I’ll talk to myself. There’s nobody else here. No back talk. Just me. Sitting by myself. In the dark.
It’s the middle of the night- 2 AM precisely- and I can’t sleep. I’m sitting in the dining room, in the dark, and thinking. Thinking … Thinking hard… Cerebral night sweats is what I call it. What else can you do if you’re in the dark? And besides, there’s lots to think about. Assuming you are all alone. (If you’re not alone, there are other things to do, depending on who you are with and how much trouble you want to get into.)
Tom Brown is a cat. He belongs to Maggie and Howard Millus. But he thinks otherwise. This is just one of his several personas.
This week I had an important reminder that I was not immortal. One of Murphy’s Laws hit me right upside my head: “If everything is going right, you must have overlooked something.” The reason for all this rumination: I had a health issue. Now it didn’t kill me, but for a while I thought I was going to die and I may have even wished I could. All because of kidney stones.
It’s been a week since Mother’s Day and I think I’m finally over it. I felt like a total failure on Mother’s Day. I read all those blogs and newspaper articles about what wonderful, endearing things good mothers do for their children. Things I never did.
There are at least 10 things I will not think about in my last 10 seconds of life. I usually don’t have enough time for that kind of nonsense, and hopefully I will continue to exist for more than 10 seconds after I write this. But because I like lists, here are the big 10.
I woke up feeling morbid today. Like I had one foot in the grave. All because I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. I had fallen asleep watching Channel Nada, Worthless TV. When I woke up, my addled brain began chasing lethargic butterflies of insomnia…
We all have them, irrational fears. Fears of things we shouldn’t be scared of, things we would not give a hoot about. If only we just didn’t think about them. Here are a few of my own, and maybe a few of some people you know….